The soft start continues. And with it, I begin to ponder my use of time. A resource I always need more of. I read this amazing quote today: "Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions."
My time is perishing. 2012 is nearly gone. Much remains undone that I had planned to do. And much is left to do...like Christmas Cards. I am terrible at cards. I will get as far as writing and addressing them, and then leave them, stampless, on my desk.
I read this today too: In January 2012, humanity spent 10.5 billion (BILLION!) minutes per DAY on Facebook. In one month, that adds up to over 887 thousand years!!!
I was definitely part of that quota.
I have a large pile of laundry at my feet. I really should fold it. I have papers that have need filing. Hamster cages to clean. Muffins to bake. And that's just the prose of my life.
There is more I need to do. There is more I want to do. Ideas. Dreams. Visions. Lying dormant in the busy idleness I call my daily life. In the new year, I want to take hold of time. I want to manage it. Make it my tool...not my nemesis.
I'm 36 this year. 37 the next. These years don't makes sense to me, and most people still think I'm in my 20s...maybe that softens the blow of my literal age a bit...but panic sneaks in the cracks and crevices.
Time is running out, and I have more to do. So today, even for a moment, I'm grabbing the time. I'm learning to keep on, no matter the state of floors, laundry and bathrooms. I'm learning to let go, and move forward, even if some dishes stay unwashed today.
Because dreams and vision need hands and feet to make them reality. So, today, here and there, I'm lending them mine.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Soft Launch
The whirl of the holidays has begun. Christmas lights fill my house with soft radiance, lighting ornaments on my tree. The Crèche, sits on top of a shelf, waiting for a baby king. The children are busy, making presents, learning Christmas songs and lore, asking "Is this it? Is today Christmas?"
This is the first year that setting up for Christmas has depressed me. Usually I am gently meditating on the greatness of The Birth, rejoicing in the lights, the music, the mood, everything that makes this season magical.
But now the lights seem to illuminate shadows in my soul. The ornaments reflect thoughts ignored.
For me, this year is ending too soon. Somehow there were less days, less hours, than I anticipated.
Somehow I wasted more time than I intended.
The loss of the possible; That is what I am mourning.
Over our morning coffee, my husband told me about the idea of a soft launch for racing. I'm sure there's another technical term for it, but basically it's a running race where the runners begin early. No blocks. They start at an earlier point, and by they time they cross the starting line, they are full throttle. Times for races that begin this way are often faster than times out of the blocks.
"Why don't we make a soft launch for our New Year's resolutions?" he said.
Yes. A Soft Launch. Resolutions that begin now, in the season of decline...and are perhaps full force by the time of new beginnings. That's just what I need.
So I'm beginning my resolution keeping today, December 1. And brushing a few cobwebs off my soul in the process.
Will you try it out too?
This is the first year that setting up for Christmas has depressed me. Usually I am gently meditating on the greatness of The Birth, rejoicing in the lights, the music, the mood, everything that makes this season magical.
But now the lights seem to illuminate shadows in my soul. The ornaments reflect thoughts ignored.
For me, this year is ending too soon. Somehow there were less days, less hours, than I anticipated.
Somehow I wasted more time than I intended.
The loss of the possible; That is what I am mourning.
Over our morning coffee, my husband told me about the idea of a soft launch for racing. I'm sure there's another technical term for it, but basically it's a running race where the runners begin early. No blocks. They start at an earlier point, and by they time they cross the starting line, they are full throttle. Times for races that begin this way are often faster than times out of the blocks.
"Why don't we make a soft launch for our New Year's resolutions?" he said.
Yes. A Soft Launch. Resolutions that begin now, in the season of decline...and are perhaps full force by the time of new beginnings. That's just what I need.
So I'm beginning my resolution keeping today, December 1. And brushing a few cobwebs off my soul in the process.
Will you try it out too?
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