Soft Launch

The whirl of the holidays has begun.  Christmas lights fill my house with soft radiance,  lighting ornaments on my tree.  The Crèche, sits on top of a shelf, waiting for a baby king.  The children are busy, making presents, learning Christmas songs and lore, asking "Is this it?  Is today Christmas?"

This is the first year that setting up for Christmas has depressed me.  Usually I am gently meditating on the greatness of The Birth, rejoicing in the lights, the music, the mood, everything that makes this season magical.    

But now the lights seem to illuminate shadows in my soul.  The ornaments reflect thoughts ignored.  

For me, this year is ending too soon.  Somehow there were less days, less hours, than I anticipated.  

Somehow I wasted more time than I intended.

The loss of the possible; That is what I am mourning.

Over our morning coffee, my husband told me about the idea of a soft launch for racing.  I'm sure there's another technical term for it, but basically it's a running race where the runners begin early.  No blocks.  They start at an earlier point, and by they time they cross the starting line, they are full throttle.  Times for races that begin this way are often faster than times out of the blocks.

"Why don't we make a soft launch for our New Year's resolutions?" he said.  

Yes.  A Soft Launch.  Resolutions that begin now, in the season of decline...and are perhaps full force by the time of new beginnings. That's just what I need.

So I'm beginning my resolution keeping today, December 1.  And brushing a few cobwebs off my soul in the process.  

Will you try it out too?